I know that when many of you are asked this question, you cannot provide a clear answer.
I was exactly the same and so I can relate.
I have found that it depends on the person, the life that you have lived up to now, the types of people you have been exposed to and grown up around and the types of personal experiences and challenges that you have grown through.
Some of us know exactly what we want, it is just a case of knowing where and how to start.
Others know exactly what they want and exactly what they need to do to get started on their mission to make it happen. Although there are thoughts and things stopping them from taking their step one.
In this article, we are considering those women that cannot provide a clear answer.
Let’s consider one scenario which is the case for so many women who I have worked with over the past 6 months.
It’s not necessarily that you don’t know what you want. It’s more that for many years you have not considered what you want. You probably haven’t been at the top of your priority list.
It’s likely that for many years life has been so full on, all you have been focused on is everything around you that needs to be done. Day in day out, week after week, after month, after year after year.
It’s things like, are the kids sorted? Is the house spotless? Do I look ok? (not feel ok, but look ok to the outside world) Are birthdays, holidays, Christmases covered? Money worries, relationship stuff.
You are dealing with everybody else’s problems, putting out fires all over the place on a daily basis and along the way, your own needs, your own inner voice, aspirations and dreams have become quieter and quieter, until they just stopped.
It’s been so long since you considered the question what do you want, you can no longer remember what you want.
Another common theme I have found are those women who feel icky talking about what they want. As though it is selfish of them in some way to sit and talk for an hour about themselves and their own dreams and aspirations. They struggle. They come up with reasons why they probably wouldn’t bother, or why what they have today is so good, they feel bad even saying that they do want something else, or something more.
Women are scolding themselves inwardly for even daring to say that what they have today is no longer enough. They want more, they want bigger, they want better. Like she should be grateful for what she has and to want to develop and grow is somehow selfish.
It’s fantastic to be grateful for what you have today, as you do the work to work towards that bigger and better thing, but to deprive yourself completely of even trying for bigger and better, because you should be grateful for what you already have is heart-breaking. Who made that rule? Who put that self-limiting belief in place?
Who feels ready to do the work to get familiar with you and what it is that you want?
My ‘Define success, set your goals and design your plan of actions’ online course begins with exactly this question.
Be assured that it is expected the majority (if not all) of the women enrolled won’t know exactly what they want.
What I had at the forefront of my mind as I worked with my team to design this course …
was that many of the women that have attended my programmes and workshops so far, have shared how much they benefit from the empowerment provided when questions like these are tackled in a group.
Put one woman on the spot and ask her what she wants and she may not be able to provide you with a response.
Ask a group of women who are on a course together, who have introduced themselves and are already beginning to connect and they will feel more enabled within that environment.
The conversation will begin to flow and before you know it the answers begin to manifest. Getting to the root of the answer to this question is a process. Your first response will lead to further considerations, which will lead to different responses and more questions.
It is like pealing back the layers and it needn’t be laborious. It can be quite cathartic and enlightening and the best bits, are the breakthrough moments that this process brings, especially in this group environment.
It is a most empowering experience and completely reinforces what I already knew, which is that empowered women empower and we are all empowered women whether we realise that or not.
We will thrive in that enabling hub of women, all on a magnificent journey together, of figuring it out and what comes as we progress is connection, bonds and friendships. Not to mention the accountability within that group.
For anybody who would like to hear more about
‘Define success, set your goals and design your plan of actions’
please email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
or check out the course website, containing the curriculum on https://marie-s-school-4d69.thinkific.com/courses/define-success-set-your-goals-design-your-plan
Once you figure out what you want, you can begin to flesh it out and we can look at how you’d feel if you had it? What difference it would bring to your life? What you need to do, to get what you want and my favourite, what are you waiting for?
For now, let’s start thinking about what it is that you really want?
Remember, you do not have to do this alone. We are in it together. It’s about empowerment and most importantly, this is all about you.